


Going Forward

by awrites (awritesrated), awritesrated



Series: Forward, Home and Love [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Conditioning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e20 The Angel of San Bernardino, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, canon up to, not season 4 compliant, the rest is made up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2020-12-29 00:15:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21145586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awritesrated/pseuds/awrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/awritesrated/pseuds/awritesrated
Summary: When Lucifer told Chloe about Cain, Chloe told him "We're done here" to end the conversation. But all Lucifer heard was an ultimatum, one that he couldn't bring himself to accept, one that tells him Chloe will abandon him if he continues as he is. He decides to make one last effort to ensure his Detective keeps him around.





	1. We're Done Here

**Author's Note:**

> A random inspiration, one that I've written due to lack of sleep. I really really empathise with Lucifer, the not sleeping part, not the very stressful situation part. I hope you all like this!

**Chapter 1 - We’re Done Here**

**Chloe POV**

_We’re done here._

That’s the last thing I said to him before this happened. Before…he broke. What could have happened to make him like this? To make him just…stop? 

He doesn’t talk anymore, except to say “Yes Detective.” 

He doesn’t feel anymore.

He doesn’t smile anymore. 

He doesn’t…he just doesn’t! He has become a shell, and I’m afraid of what it means. _What could have happened?_ It’s been a month since those words spit out of my mouth, it’s been a month since I’ve done what I regret the most. I’ve broken him. 

Pierce…I broke up with him, I couldn’t live the lie anymore. He treats me right, that’s what I wanted right? But I couldn’t stop seeing Lucifer’s despondent face in the interrogation room that night. I couldn’t stop seeing his despair in his eyes. I called Pierce that night and broke things off, I told him I was sorry, I told him how I regret not being able to be happy with him and realising I can only be happy with someone incapable of bringing me happiness. That I’m in love with a delusional man. 

I came into work the next day, expecting Lucifer still in his disheveled state, spouting nonsense, and infuriating me. I thought I could wipe a little bit of that despair away. I was going to tell him about the break up. I could feel the excitement over having good news for Lucifer, that giving him what he wanted should bring him at least back to something resembling normal, even for him. But there he stood, by my desk, impassively, still, unmoving, and Dan shouting at him as usual, and not a reaction out of him. I approached them, hearing Dan’s disbelief at Lucifer’s rudeness at ignoring him, and as soon as I caught his eyes, Dan said, “Good luck getting something from him. He is a literal statue hellbent on making my life difficult.” 

Dan walked away in a huff, and sat down at my seat gingerly, looking up at Lucifer’s frame. I furrowed my eyebrows, previous excitement completely gone now, and sighed. _What now?_ I thought to myself, exasperatedly. 

“Lucifer, can you please sit down?” I asked, not expecting any response. But he sat, quickly, quietly, one smooth action that is done within barely a second. I blinked, and raised my eyes to look at Dan’s own bewildered eyes. Dan stood up, and slowly walked back towards us, attempting to find what made Lucifer tick again.

“Hey man, what’s up with the ignoring?” Dan asked him, and he went back to being a statue. I felt frustration bubble up my chest. Whatever his problem is, this is not the time, nor the place. 

“Lucifer! If you’re going to be a rude statue, then you can do that in a corner where you won’t hinder anyone. Don’t you dare give me any crap right now. Not after the night I’ve had.” I snapped at him. If he was going to be like that, then he can deal with my bad temper. How dare he, ruin my good news for him, when I’ve done something of such magnitude for him? I gave up my potential happiness for a semblance of _normal_ back, and this is how he repays me? By being abnormal? Well, then, using his words, he can _bloody hell_ do it far away from me. 

But all my angered was forcefully swallowed down my throat when all he said was “Yes Detective.”, stood up, walked to an inconspicuous corner, and stood there, unmoving…like a statue…I gasped, shooting up from my seat, barely registering Dan’s own gasp of disbelief. 

“What the hell?” He said, and I shouted, “Lucifer, get back here!” 

He blinked, looked at me, bowed his head and walked back to me. And then I saw, an emotion indicator that I just realised is sorely lacking in the way Lucifer held himself since this morning. Yet, there it is, clear as day, hands clenching in whatever emotion he’s trying to keep in. He walked back to me, stopping just a foot away, and just…waited. 

“Lucifer, dude! Look at me man!” Dan tried again. As before, he did not respond. I stared at him, trying to figure him out, and before I knew it, I was falling over the edge of my temper. I raised my hand, and swiped it across his right cheek, his face immediately reddening, and my mortification skyrocketing through the roof. _What did I do that for?_ But I knew, because it was too much. It was too much to deal with more madness in my life, when the source of everything crazy in my life has already messed me up so completely. I am at the end of my endurance, and I lashed out. 

Oddly, it was Dan with the admonishing voice this time, and I looked at him through bleary eyes. Oh…when did I start crying? Lucifer was still motionless, as if the slap didn’t affect him at all, and I snapped. If he wants to do this, then by all means, we can play at this game. I snapped at him to get back to his corner, and he did with another “Yes Detective.”, and I couldn’t help it, I sobbed. 

I sank back into my seat, hands covering my face, and sobbed. Lucifer…he’s taking commands from me, is letting me slap him like it was nothing, is…is…damaged. My right hand trembled, and I looked at it, feeling betrayed by its loss of control. I shouldn’t have done that, shouldn’t have done so many things, but I did them anyway. I stared at Lucifer, standing in the corner like an errant child, somehow, in his stoic expression, I could see his dejection, the way his shoulders are tighter than before, the way his eyes are no longer looking forward, but downwards now. His posture and his expression are the same, so why do I feel like he is desperate inside?

“Chlo?” Dan asked, sounding as worried as he looked. I looked up at him, and saw his eyebrows furrowed. “Why don’t you take the day off? I think both you and Lucifer need to take it easy today. You go sort this out with Lucifer, I’ll take Trixie today.” 

I opened my mouth to deny it, but I remembered the feeling of my palm colliding with Lucifer’s cheek, and I paused. I’m not in the frame of mind to work, so is Lucifer. I glanced at Lucifer again, and saw him still obediently standing in the corner, and my heart clenched at the sight. I averted my gaze and focused back on Dan.

“Yea, yea…I’ll take the day off.” I started packing up my stuff, Dan off to talk to the lieutenant - _my ex-fiancé_ \- on my behalf. I looked up, and saw Lucifer immediately, and held in another sob. Whatever this is, I’ll fix it. I can do this, we’ll be okay. 

“Lucifer!” I called, we needed to talk, and I’m not getting onto this type of emotional rollercoaster in his den of sin. No, we’re both going to my house, which will be free of ex-husbands, ex-fiancés and monkeys, and we’ll talk. Lucifer twitched, as if he was tightly controlling his body, and looked up at me. What do I say, that we needed to talk? That we should go to my house? That we…that we…I’m already walking towards the garage! Wait, Lucifer is still…right behind me…oh. Okay, he heels like a dog when all I have to do is call him…I can deal with that. I can deal with myself walking off without ever having the intention to, I can deal with myself slapping my best friend without ever having the intention to, I can _totally_ deal with said best friend following like a _dog_. I swallowed another sob, and climbed into my car, focusing on making sure Lucifer is in the car before I drove off _without ever having the intention to._

**Lucifer POV**

_We’re done here_. 

That’s what she said, but all I heard was _done_. I know she has lost all patience for me. I’ve hurt her once too many times, and she’s finally seeing that I’m not worth it. 

_Done_.

I don’t want for us to be done. I want us to _last_. But how can we? She doesn’t believe me! And she’s in so much danger, but she wouldn’t believe me! I’ve tried so hard to tell her, to warn her, but now she said we’re _done_. I choked on the lump in my throat, both my hands itching to throw the chair right at the door. But I’ve done enough damage for now, I should leave. 

I walked out the precinct, and rode my corvette back to the penthouse. I stared at my phone, a glass of whisky right beside it. Should I call her, apologise for my behaviour? I couldn’t stand her ire, nor her aloofness. She’s being used by Cain, I had to warn her, but…but…maybe telling her is not the best way. She wouldn’t believe me, then I’ll have to tell her what she’ll believe. I’ll do what I can to protect her. 

But _we’re done_. 

She’s upset with me, she’s angry with me. She’ll want to cut me off! No no no no! She can’t! She…she won’t, right? I…I’ll just have to prove I can be what she needs, I just need to be the kind of partner she wants, then she’ll keep me. I just need to be _good_. She’ll forgive me, or if not..she’ll take pity, anything’s better than being cut off and unable to protect her at her side. _Anything’s better._

Right, first thing’s first, shower. This look won’t be any help convincing her of my sincerity. Personal grooming is important. Then…then…I need to start doing as she says. She doesn’t like me drinking…I looked at the glass of whisky. I brought it up to my lips…and jerked it away, standing up, striding to the sink in the kitchen, and pouring it away. Better not try even one last sip, I might be unable to control myself. 

No smoking too, she’s always telling me not to do it in the vicinity of her child, it means she doesn’t want her child to pick the habit up. She disapproves. 

I looked at the mirror, and swallowed at my face. No flirting too, no inappropriate comments, no violence, no going off on my own, no actions without her consent, just…do what she says, or only breathe. I took a deep, shaky breath. Only breathe. 

I cleaned myself up, my mind slowly acclimatising to a time where I followed instead of lead, where I obeyed instead of rebel. A soldier…the Detective will like that, her personal pet Devil. She’ll at least be fond of pets right? It’s illegal to abandon little puppies on the road right? I’ll just have to make sure she had a very useful, obedient dog. She’ll keep me, I’ll be good and she’ll keep me. 

“Useless little shit!” I recalled Michael yelling at me. 

“Worthless!” Gabriel.

“_We’re done here.”_ I flinched. I gasped for air, but somehow, none was coming in. I clutched at my chest, _why can’t I breathe_? I lost energy, and collapsed, still wheezing for air that refused to enter my lungs…

I woke up feeling chilled. I looked around, I was still in the bathroom. I jerked up from the floor, _what was I doing on the floor_? Shit, I was supposed to shower, groom myself, make myself presentable so I can convince the Detective I’m sorry. I rushed into the shower and rapidly washed myself, scrubbing every inch with more strength than I needed, and using cold water, having forgotten to turn the heater on. I deserved the cold water anyway, it’ll keep me alert, and on my toes. I shivered as I finished off, making sure to avoid my nether regions before I cause a reaction that I just _knew_ the Detective hated me for having, and quickly walked out and started my morning routine. 

“Hands at your side! No fidgeting! You do not answer to anyone but me!” Michael’s voice echoed in my mind. He was my mentor, my…trainer. He gave me my orders, and my punishments. He…he is the lowest in the rank, but he’s my twin, and my superior. I was nothing. 

“You’re going to stand in this position until I say you can move, do you understand?” He ordered, with that quiet hissing voice, sending a shiver down my spine at the mere memory. He left me there until I cried, until my legs cramped and my stomach rumbled, until my tears dried and my hands trembled. I collapsed, and I was punished. 

I’ll have to do better than that for the Detective. However long she wants me to endure a hardship, I’ll do it. She’s worth it. She’s worth a thousand “Michael”s. She’s worth a thousand “Dad”s. 

_We’re done here._ I flinched again. 

_No, no we’re not. Please don’t say that. I’ll reign myself in, I’ll do what you say. Anything. Everything. I’ll be your soldier. _


	2. Promise

**Chapter 2 - Promise**

**Chloe’s POV**

I drove the both of us home, feeling at least somewhat assured that Dan is taking Trixie today. I don’t think this could be done in a few hours. Lucifer has always been quirky, but like this, it was waaaaay out of my understanding. I knew there were issues going on with him, but…I never expected this. I parked in the driveway, and got out of the car, Lucifer doing the same without prompting, and I unlocked the door, walking into my home, all the time glancing back over my shoulder to make sure he’s still there. 

He’s unusually quiet, he’s doing nothing but following me and breathing. Yet, he holds himself stiff, rigidly, it does not seem like he’s relaxed like any other times I’ve seen him this quiet. It caused a weight in my stomach, something weighing me down and making it difficult to breathe. Whatever is going on with Lucifer, it cannot be good. I took a deep breath, and turned around, and there he was, unobtrusively standing in my doorway, at attention like a soldier, eyes carefully looking forward. 

Was this how he was expected to act before? Before he was kicked out, before his metaphorical fall? He seemed to be falling into this routine fairly easily, as if he lived in it for years, instead of just getting into a new hobby on a whim like that time with the photographing. 

That made me smile a little. He was such a dork. That was before all of this happened, before we were distanced and pulled apart by his delusions and my losing patience. He went on a photograph binge, insisting on taking selfies and creating albums way too extensive than photos should have any right to be. 

I sighed at the memory, feeling more exhausted than anything at the reminder of what we could have been, and slumped down on the couch. 

“Come here.” I called Lucifer over, and he did, and like any other soldier I’ve seen, he stopped right in front of me, still at attention. I didn’t notice it before, but his legs are slightly trembling, and his stomach are so obviously tense. He was consciously regulating his breaths, and I just couldn’t discount the thought that he was more than nervous. He was terrified. Yet here he stands, in spite of his fear, because I called him over. 

I dropped my head into my hands, trying to compose myself, and a soft, almost undetectable whimper sounded right above me. I snapped my head up at him, and the sound stopped abruptly, his eyes squeezed shut and his trembling increased. I played my hand on his stomach, and he took in a sharp breath. 

“Lucifer?” I asked, wanting to ask the million questions in my head, (Why are you acting like this? What’s going on? What happened in your past? Why won’t you open up to me? Have I failed completely, as your friend?) yet, I only managed one word through the lump rapidly growing in my throat. 

He replied softly, timidly, as if speaking louder would draw my ire, as if the wrong tone would anger me, as if…as if I’m his jailer, and his tormentor, like _his father_ must have been. 

“Yes Detective?” 

I took a deep breath, patting the seat beside me, I asked “Why don’t you come and sit down?”

He looked at me, his trembling never ceasing, and without hesitation, treating my request like an order, he sat down beside me. As if the situation could be any worse, he sat back straight, hands on his knees, and face still maddeningly looking forward. He hasn’t made any eye contact with me since I set eyes on him today, and I miss it! I missed his smiles, his way with words, how he was never still, how he moved and flitted across the room from one item of his fascination to the next, how he looked at me like one of those items, but never moving on to the next. How he was the exact opposite to what he is now. 

“Lucifer, look at me.” I’m trying to be as gentle as I could, but it is difficult when all I want to do is shake his shoulders and scream at him to just…talk. He turned his head towards me instantly, looking at me, or more precisely, in my general direction, but still not making eye contact. He’s probably looking somewhere on my nose bridge. His hands were clenched on his knees, and I could tell his jaws were clenched as well. 

“Lucifer, why are you doing this? Why are you acting this way?” I asked, bluntly, I know, but how else should I do this? I’m out of my depth here. 

It seemed like the wrong question anyway, what with Lucifer’s eyes tearing up and his body uncontrollably shaking, it’s difficult to see his reaction as anything but completely _wrong_. I cupped his chin, stroked his cheek, infusing as much care as I could into my actions, and his breath hitched. He still hasn’t said one word, and that was bothering me more than anything else this day. Lucifer _never_ shuts up. That was the one rule I could always count on.

“Lucifer?” I prompted, “What’s wrong? You can tell me, I promise.” And his tears fall, and my heart broke. Lucifer is many things, but never weak-willed. If he’s crying, then he must be hurt so badly, even someone as strong as him crumbles. 

“Y…you’ll get angry.” He said, finally speaking, but the words made it even harder to swallow. I’ve been coaxing him to speak this entire time, to say something other then “Yes Detective”, yet the first words he says is to express his fear of my anger. 

“Try me.” I told him, promising myself to not get angry no matter what he says. Yet, the moment he takes that leap of faith, I crush it down with the exact words he knew I’d say.

“P…pierce, he’s Cain, he’s _dangerous.” _He tells me with as much conviction as the next day, and I groaned at his persistence. Why can’t he leave it well enough alone?!

“_Lucifer_! I said to talk about _this_! _Not_ your fixation with _Pierce_ and your delusions about him! Why are you making this more difficult than it should be?!” I snapped at him, and instantly, he clammed up. He looked away, eyes downcast, hands clenched on his knees, and back to silence. He swallowed, and the trembling never ceased. 

He whispered a soft apology, and sat quietly. I tried again and again, to no avail. He didn’t speak again, and only did as I bid. He retreated into his mind.

For the following month, he followed me as closely as he could, and did everything I asked. He brought coffee, exactly the way I liked it, at my request, every morning. He sat quietly when I’m clearing the paperwork, as I requested. He pounced on any criminals we catch only at my word, not before, and he worked his desire mojo on anyone I questioned, again, only at my request, never before. He did everything as I tell him to, he was the perfect partner, a perfect…hunting dog. Loyal and obedient, and so very very _wrong. _

I didn’t know how to fix it, I didn’t know how to even _try_. 

Dan looks at me with pity. Ella tried to get Lucifer to open up, but of course he’s unresponsive around anyone who is not me. Pierce…he smirks at Lucifer’s back when he thinks no one is watching, but I saw, multiple times, and it sent shivers down my spine. 

The only time I see Lucifer breaking his silence, is when he is around Trixie, when he thinks they are alone. He speaks softly, always into her ear directly, and Trixie whispers back. He is a lot gentler with her than I’ve ever seen, and softer too, and he is so much more relaxed around her. I asked him if he wants to stay here for awhile, since Maze is somewhere on the other side of the globe hunting whatever she’s hunting now, and we have an extra room available. He agreed, just like how he agrees with everything I say now, and I’ve seen his softness around Trixie more and more since. I’ve tried asking Trixie what he says, but all she could tell me was “Lucifer’s scared of you, Mommy!”

I felt lost and angry and sad and confused. _Why_?

I’m walking to the kitchen for a glass of water in the night, and I walked past Trixie’s room, way past her bedtime, but I heard voices on the inside. 

“Lucifer! Mommy’s not going to cane you!” I covered my mouth immediately, finally having a chance to understand his mind, but shocked at their topic of discussion all the same. _Cane_?

“She’s angry with me. I made toasts in the morning. She told me to make pancakes, she said you asked for pancakes, but there weren’t any flour or eggs left, and I didn’t have time to buy them. But I disobeyed. She’ll have to punish me now.”

“Come on, Lucifer! Mommy’s never punished you before! Plus, she’s never even caned me, and I disobey allllll the time.”

“But she loves you, urchin. She loves you more than anything.”

“She loves you too, Lucifer.”

“Well…people who claimed to love me have…caned me before.” 

“Really? Why?”

“Because I wasn’t good enough. Because I disobeyed? Maybe because I was just…too much of a problem. They…he…I wasn’t allowed to move…when they rained stroke after stroke on me. They would give me an impossible number to endure, but start over if I moved even a little. It was my fault for not obeying and holding the position, I _know_, but it was _just so hard_. If…if your mother decides to punish me, she would at least allow me to be tied up right? I don’t want to anger her more by moving and making her think I’m trying to escape my punishment.”

“Don’t worry, Lucifer, Mommy won’t do that. I promise.” 

“Beatrice?”

“Yeah?”

“If your mother becomes angry with me, could you…just…remind her that I’m sorry? And maybe tell her to…be more lenient?”

“Mommy’s not going to punish you, Lucifer. But okay, I’ll promise you.”

“Thank you, Spawn.”

I cracked the door open, tears running down my cheeks without control, and saw Lucifer curled up around Trixie, holding her tight against his chest and sleeping beside her in her bed. Is this what he’s been worrying about all the time? That’s I’ll _punish_ him? How…why…what could I have done to have given him that impression?

I bit my lips to stop the gasp of sobs I’m holding in, and walked back to my room, forgetting the glass of water I wanted to get before. The insight I’ve gotten didn’t help at all. He’s spending his days in my house, at my order, doing things at my order, and holding himself to impossible standards and feeling terrified of consequences that I would _never_ subject him to, and yet, he thinks I will. 

I asked Trixie one day, when Lucifer was busy in the kitchen cooking our dinner, “Trixie, baby, do you think I should just let Lucifer go home?” If he feared me so, he should relax when he is not around me, right? Trixie only stared at me like I’ve grown another head. Like she couldn’t believe how stupid I am. To have that look directed at me, by my daughter no less, is a refreshing experience. 

“Why? He loves it here!” 

“It doesn’t seem like it.” I argued. 

“But that’s because he’s always afraid you’ll kick him out if he does something wrong! If you tell him to go home, he’ll think you’re angry with him. You _can’t _do that! He’ll _cry_!” She’s distressed now, and close to tears. 

“Okay, baby, okay, I won’t tell him to go home. I just thought…but okay.” I said hurriedly. 

“_Promise_ you won’t make him leave.” She whispered vehemently. I nodded my head in agreement, pulling her close and hugging her for my own comfort. 

“I promise.”


	3. Memories

### Chapter 3 – Memories

**Lucifer’s POV**

The Detective has been staring at me throughout the whole time I made breakfast. I can’t help but go through everything she’s said to me since yesterday’s breakfast. Did she tell me to make something else? I decided to make pancakes, which was what the Detective had ordered the previous morning, but I couldn’t deliver. I’m still waiting anxiously for that caning I’m sure I deserve, even though the little urchin assured and reassured me the Detective wouldn’t punish me.

_“Why are you so stupid?!”_ Michael had screamed at me.

_“He’s an idiot, he couldn’t even follow simple instructions!_” He had said to Father. Father hadn’t looked at me for a long time after that.

I swallow those memories down. I’m serving the Detective now. She’s always been good to me, better than I deserve. As long as I’m obedient and useful, she wouldn’t say anything like that. I _can _follow instructions! Truly! I _really _hope I am cooking the correct thing.

I call them over when I’ve finished making the pancakes, and the two Decker women walk hand in hand, settling at the counter. I serve them breakfast and wait to see their reactions. The urchin makes that cute little happy sound that she always makes whenever she is eating something she enjoys, and I smile a little at that. I observe the little girl closely, to check that she really does enjoy her food, for her happiness is a huge factor to the Detective’s happiness. But I also subtly steal glances at the Detective, hoping she’s happy with my cooking as well. I cannot help but worry if she is displeased with anything I do. She’s frowning though, and looking at me. I steal a few more glances to see her staring at me intently, obviously upset, and I look down at the counter, not daring to look in her direction again.

She clears her throat, “Lucifer, why aren’t you eating?” and I stiffened my back. Am I supposed to eat? Or am I supposed to answer that I will eat after I’ve served them properly? Is this a trick question? What’s the correct answer? After all this time hanging around her, working with her, I still sometimes cannot quite get what she desires, and that makes it so difficult to make her happy. Maybe I should just let her teach me, punish me when I do something wrong, but try anything I think would make her happy. That would make her happy and less upset with me right? But what if I try something wrong, and she decides I’m not needed anymore?

_“Father, I sincerely feel that Samael is not suitable for anything bar training. He is insolent, and disobedient, he will ruin our plans. He thinks he guesses what his superior wants correctly, and acts on his assumption too readily. He should remain in training for this century as well.” _Michael showed me a sinister smile when Father decided he was right. Another century of training with Michael would be hell. I was so relieved I was thrown in to hell before the century was up.

I hesitate, and say “I…I’ll eat after.”

“After when?” She sounds annoyed, impatient. I’ve upset her after all. I swallow hastily, and try to respond with an appropriate answer. Is she upset I’m not eating now, or that I wasn’t specific enough with my response?

“A…after you’ve eaten?” It came out sounding like a question.

_“Is that an answer or a question?! Answer me properly, you little retard!” _Michael used to scream at me in anger just before he punished me whenever I sounded unsure with an answer.

Please don’t be upset with me. Please don’t be upset with me. Please don’t be upset with me. I have to pray. To whom, I have no idea, it’s not like anyone would answer, but I _really really_ don’t want to upset the Detective.

She hasn’t spoken a word yet, and I don’t dare gauge her mood by risking another glance. I tremble a little, anticipating her ire. I hear her take a deep breath, and let it out.

“Come sit with us, Lucifer. We’ll eat together.”

I snap my head up and stare at her. E…eat together? I’m allowed to do that? Will this be another trick? It won’t, right? She’s not Michael, she won’t do anything like that. She’s always said what she meant, she’s never lied. Just like me, I think fondly, and smile tugging at my lips, but I don’t let it show. I walk cautiously around the counter to sit right beside her, and she scoops some pancakes onto another plate, pushing it towards me. She’s being serious! She hasn’t interacted with me this way since a month ago when I upset her with my warning her about Cain. I thought she wouldn’t ever stop being angry with me for that. She’s really angry that day. But now…I could do a thousand things for her now, for her acceptance of my existence, even with all the wrong things I’ve done.

I look at her for confirmation, and she just stares back. I slowly pick up the fork on the table, slowly, so she can reprimand me if she is really only testing me, and I haven’t actually eaten anything to warrant too harsh a punishment.

_“Ha! Look at him! He thinks he’s good enough to sit at the table and eat with us!” _Michael, Amenadiel, and Gabriel laughed at me.

_“Get up! You eat only after you’ve served us to satisfaction! You’re nothing! You hear? So don’t you dare think you have the same privilege as us!” _

I push the memories back again, pulling myself back to the present. The Detective won’t do that. I think? No, she won’t. If I cannot have faith in my ability to please people, I will at least have faith in her goodness. She won’t strike me down for something she said I was allowed to do, I’m sure of it. Well…_pretty sure._

I eat as quickly as I could then, after seeing that the Detective isn’t really paying much attention to me now. She’s conversing with the spawn now, giving her instructions for the day and telling her to be safe and to enjoy school. They finish their breakfast a few seconds before I ate my last bit, and I hastily swallow it before grabbing their plates and wash them. When I finish washing and drying the dishes, the spawn and the Detective are almost ready, and I waited at attention, not wanting her to find fault in my attitude while waiting for them. She always was a little annoyed before, when I whined about her speed. I won’t do that now.

**Chloe’s POV**

I notice so many of Lucifer’s tells now, after last night’s revelation. He stiffens whenever he’s afraid of my reaction. Why did he freeze when I asked him when he was planning to eat though? And what was with that appalling amount of shock he expressed when I told him to sit down and eat with us. He was acting really weird and hesitant, like he didn’t dare eat what was in front of him, placed there by me, by the way, and I had the presence of mind to switch my attention to Trixie when I notice he has been stealing glances at me the whole time. Did he think I was tricking him into doing something I didn’t want him to? Did he think I would strike him for doing exactly what I told him to?

God…what happened to him? What could have happened to make him so vulnerable to what I’m suspecting, long term abuse and servitude. He is so strong! Physically _and_ mentally! How could anyone reduce him to…to…_this_.

I contemplate a course of action to deal with this. Starting with grilling Trixie whatever she knows about Lucifer’s condition. I didn’t push before, but now…now I think I need to know.

“Lucifer, why don’t you go to the precinct first?” I ask Lucifer. He immediately stared at me, with wet eyes slowly reddening, and his fists by his side starting to tremble. He swallows and agrees with my suggestion, but it was obvious he was distressed with having to do it. It seems like such a wrong thing to take advantage of his obedience now, but I needed the privacy to speak with Trixie, and he cannot be there for it. I send him off, then turn towards Trixie.

“Alright, monkey. This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to get into the car, and you’ll tell me everything Lucifer has said to you, anything you remember, since he moved here. Ok?”

I push her lightly towards our car as she agrees softly, still rattled by me asking her if I should let Lucifer go home, I reckon, and I locked the door before steering her forwards and into the car.

I buckle her seatbelt, and then mine, and start the car.

“Ok, honey, what does Lucifer usually tell you?”

“Erm…he asks me if you’re angry a lot. I always tell him you’re not, but I don’t think he believes me. He says that his family always make him clean their house, and cook for them, and if they didn’t like it, they hurt him real bad. He also says that they were all soldiers, and that he wasn’t allowed to be one of them because he wasn’t good enough. But Mommy? I thought Lucifer is really good at everything already! Why wasn’t he good enough? He says that Amenadiel was his dad’s favourite son, but I don’t think Amenadiel is as good as him! And I don’t like Amenadiel! Lucifer says he beats him up a lot.”

“I don’t like him too.” I tell Trixie. My head is reeling with all the information I’ve gotten, and my heart bled for the one man I could depend upon. How could anyone hurt so much, yet still manage to be standing confident and tall, and defend me like it’s his honor to do so?

“Did he say anything else? Do you know why he’s suddenly like that?” I ask her, still wanting to understand what triggered Lucifer’s sudden behavior.

“Oh! He said he was going to do everything you tell him to do perfectly. He said that he’s afraid you’ll abandon him, and give up on him. Mommy, he said that you told him you’re done. He didn’t want you to be done with him, so he’s going to do everything you say for now. Did you really say you’re done with him, Mommy?”

I pull the car to a stop at Trixie’s school entrance, and close my at the reminder of our last conversation before all this. I did say we were done, but I meant that we were done with the conversation…what did he think I meant?

“Don’t worry Trixie, I’ll do my best to reassure him myself. Good job doing that until now.” I tell her and usher her out the car and into the school. I took a deep breath and turned the car around. Time to face Lucifer’s problem.

I walk into the precinct to see him sitting in his seat as usual, irresponsive to anyone talking to him, as usual. I sigh as I thank the gods that I gave him a standing order to sit in his seat whenever he needs to wait for me.

I walk straight to the interrogation room, walking by him and stroking him along his shoulder to let him know of my presence, and he follows me as expected, and I turn off the cameras before closing the door behind him. I motion for him to sit in one of the chairs, and I sat opposite him. He looked awfully rigid, and very, very scared, even though he hid his emotions admirably. His eyes have never been good at hiding anything from me anyway.

“Lucifer…”  
  
“I’m sorry!” He says softly before I even finished saying his name. What is he sorry for now? I don’t think he did anything else but sit in his chair the whole day.

Silence falls right after his soft outburst, and he stares intently at the table between us.

“What…what are you sorry for?” I ask him. I want to know what he is scared of, so I can tell him it will never happen. But he starts to emit even more fear than before.

“Lucifer?” I prompt him again, and he gives me his answer.

“I…don’t know…Detective.” He glances up at me, and looks back down on the table, “You seem upset with me and I…whatever I’ve done…” He swallows and gulps and falls into silence.

I stare at him in disbelief. He thinks I called him in here to…what…reprimand him? To get on his case?

“No…Lucifer, I’m not upset with anything you’ve done. Well…not the way you put it anyway. I just wanted to talk about how you’ve been acting lately.”

He looks up at me in shock, and I looked into his eyes, conveying as much solemnity in my words as I could.

“Lucifer…why have you been acting like my soldier?”


	4. Gift

### Chapter 4 – Gift

**Lucifer’s POV**

I…should I not be? She…wants a good devil right? Someone useful. Have I not been useful? I feel myself tremble even more.

“Lucifer?” She prompts me again. And I don’t dare dally.

I swallow, and hastily answer.

“I…you said…” I gulp. I don’t know how to phrase it, I don’t know how to avoid the punishment I know had to be coming.

_“Can’t answer a question well. Can’t report his status well. Can’t defend his position well. He cannot do anything well. He’s a wimp. He cannot be let into our ranks until he bucks up Father.” _Michael told Father. Father looked at me in disgust, and turned his back.

_“Train him into a soldier, Michael. I believe in you.”_ He patted Michael on his right shoulder, then he abruptly turned to me and backhanded me.

_“To think you’re my son! Such a disgrace! You are going to keep training until Michael deems you ready.” _He hissed at me menacingly, and I couldn’t help but shrink in his glare. He scoffs.

_“I see what you mean, son. You don’t have to report to me every week anymore. Just keep training him until he’s ready, then come tell me.”_ I shuddered in despair.

I look at the Detective pleadingly. I have to answer the question. I don’t want the Detective to think me incompetent.

“You wanted…me to…stop. You wanted me to be useful…” I train my eyes on the table between us, my shallow breaths the only sound I can hear.

The quiet stretched, and the Detective’s breath deepened.

“So you think that I wanted…a hunting dog?” I bow my head further, and nod my head, clasping my hands together and not daring to look up.

“You think I need a hunting dog?” She asks me, her voice slightly high pitched then normal. I wince at her question. She’s upset.

“I’m sorry!” I have to apologise now. She’s clearly upset, and whatever it is, it’s my fault. I can feel tears pooling at the back of my eyes, my trembles giving my fear away.

“If…if you tell me what you want…I won’t get it wrong this time! If you just…please tell me…” I begged her.

“You want me to tell…” I wince again at her tone. That’s right…I shouldn’t expect her to tell me what she wants. I should know it by myself. It’s because I’m so useless that I couldn’t discern her desires.

_“You should have known, Samael!” Michael swung the whip onto my back without mercy. Amenadiel and Gabriel were holding me down as Michael punished me for not knowing he wanted syrup with his pancakes, and Gabriel wanted bagels and eggs. Amenadiel wanted scrambled eggs with cheese in them. I was beaten until I lost consciousness that day. That was the first time I made them breakfast. That was the first time Father stopped checking in on me. I never forgot what they liked anymore. _

“I…I’m sorry!” I am not trembling anymore. I am fully shaking now. “I know I should know what you want. I’m sorry. I…I’ll accept whatever punishment you think I deserve, I…” I sniffle, “I’m _sorry_. Please…”

“Please what?” The Detective’s voice sounds cautiously neutral, and I can’t discern her mood right now.

“Please…don’t leave me. Or…or just…don’t make me leave. I won’t do it again. Whatever you don’t like, if I do anything wrong, I’ll accept any punishment you give me! I…I hate the cane, any…any type of canes. Or…or a whip. If you use them on me, I…I guarantee you I wouldn’t dare disobey you ever again. If…if you train me, I’ll…I’ll be what you need! I…please!”

_“You should beg for mercy, Sammy dear.” _Michael advised as he leaned over me. I spat in his face.

_“I don’t need it…” _I gasped as he straightened his back in disgust, and ground his foot on my chest even harder. Blood gurgled out and I struggled to breathe.

_“Well, then you’ll have to leave heaven! Father said I am to throw you out and never let you back in. Look at that! The disgraced son! You are such a useless shit.” _I laughed at his conceitedness. Heaven?

_“Throw me down then! I cannot wait.” _

But if the Detective threw me away…I’m begging for mercy here. I need it, I must get it. It’s the only way. Whatever Michael has made me endure, whatever kind of a disappointment I was in Father’s eyes, the Detective is my only way home, my only way to salvation. She’s my life, and if I have to endure worse to stay by her side…

“Stop!” I jerk away from the table at her abrupt outburst. I hear her sigh, and I stiffen.

“Lucifer,” I tilt my head a little, still not daring to look her in the eyes, “when I said we were done…”

And my heart skips a beat, before racing faster and faster.

“Please!” I look up at her in alarm, “I’m sorry! I won’t…won’t mention…Ca…P…Pierce again! I won’t interfere with anyone else you…associate with _ever again_! I won’t! Please! I’m sorry!”

Her eyes start to fill, and I feel my heart clench I agony. “I’m sorry…” I try again. But I can feel hope leaving me as quickly as my tears. I _really really_ didn’t mean to make her so angry. I know I shouldn’t do that now. Just another chance. I need just one more chance. I will be so good. So good…

**Chloe’s POV**

I look at the self-proclaimed devil in front of me, and I cannot believe what I see. He is begging me, for the right to stay by my side. He is begging me for the chance to be my soldier. The panic I can see in his eyes the moment he heard my mentioning our last conversation before all this happened, and I knew Trixie was right. That was what broke him. I did get through to him on the first day, but because I got angry at him for mentioning…_Cain_…he thinks…he is apologizing…for trying to warn me.

I have to look at his perspective now. I have to consider his words now. For within this month of absolute hell, Marcus has started to act weird. Well…weirder than before. He eyes Lucifer like a predator, with a glint in his eyes. Lucifer was trying to warn me against him, in his own way. Like he always does. I knew he had a rough childhood, I knew he had issues going on. Why did I lose patience? Why did I get angry at him for doing what he has always done?

No wonder he’s so afraid of my anger. I’ve been angry at him all the time haven’t I? And…and the moment he thinks I might abandon him…he…he reverts to whatever training his family has put him through…and thinks his worth is close to none.

“I meant we were done…” His breath hitches before I finish the sentence, head bowed once more, and I plough through, “with the conversation.” He furrows his eyebrows, his lips tilted into a slight frown, confused.

“I didn’t mean we were done as partners, or friends.” I explain to him. “I meant the conversation.”

His head snaps up at my words, and he stares at me desperately. “What…” he licks his lips nervously, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that, you’re my friend, and I’m yours. We’re not done, we won’t ever be done, not ever.” I tell him in as firm a voice as I can muster. “I _promise._” I add for good measure.

“W…what?” He looks so haggard and exhausted. I lean forward and reach for his shoulder, and he twitches slightly at my touch.

“Lucifer…I am not going to punish you, or stop being your friend. I’m sorry…for ever letting you think our friendship is so fragile. But it’s not, and I value you, I _do_! Okay?” His eyes are impossibly wide now, but he was still hesitant.

“What? You can ask questions Lucifer.” His adams apple bob up and down as he swallows his anxiety down, and he timidly asks, “Is…is there any rules?”

What? What is he asking?

My confusion must have shown, for he elaborates right away.

“I…I mean…do I have to do anything to…make sure…you won’t be upset with me enough to…” I groan at his words, and he stops.

“Lucifer! Weren’t you listening?” I look him I the eyes and ask him.

“I was! I wasn’t drifting! I promise!” He looks a little desperate for my approval, and I nod slightly. This is going to take a while to solve…

“I…I just…you get upset so easily! And…and I just…don’t know how to…act around people…or you…and I don’t know what you want me to do or don’t want me to do…and you…you just get angry with me so easily!” His explanation gets softer and softer until it was barely a whisper at the end there.

I did this to him. Years and years of my abuse, and he’s finally pooled me into the same category as his abusive family. How many times have I told him he’s wrong for doing this or doing that? How many times have I pushed him away for his quirkiness? How many times…have I punished him for things he couldn’t control? Yet he still wants to please me, to the extent he would rather be punished with a cane or a whip then to leave me…

“I’m sorry, Lucifer.” I say with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry I made you doubt our friendship. I’m sorry you have been made to endure my bad temper. I’m just…_so_ sorry.”

I take a deep breath, and then let it out.

“There’re no rules. No tricks, no catch, no conditions. You’re my friend, just the way you are. I don’t want a soldier, or a hunting dog, or a useful servant. I want my Lucifer back. Can you give him back to me?”

He looks at me solemnly, and opens and closes his mouth multiple times. Shock colors his eyes as he tries to form a response. I wait for him patiently, as I’ve never done before, and he eventually opens his mouth and spoke.

“You can have anything you want from me.”


	5. Chapter 5 - Laughter

###  Chapter 5 – Laughter

**Chloe’s POV**

I can feel how strong his conviction is.

_You can have anything you want from me._

Such strong words. And I know he doesn’t lie. I know how thoroughly Lucifer thinks through his deals and promises. To make such a promise, he must have thought about all sorts of scenarios or situations and still deemed it worth the risk. What if I demanded his organs? Or…or…well alright, he’s probably confident I won’t harm him.

Actually…no…he thinks I am capable of punishing him. Maybe…the promise really is as heavy as his tone. He…has thought about all kinds of torture I could put him through and has decided that I am worth his pain. Tears pricked my eyes as I contemplate his possible thoughts.

That day was peaceful compared to any other day in the last month. We walked out of the room, then continued with our work as if nothing happened. Only, Lucifer responded when Ella reached out again, forever optimistic. He smiled at her, and nodded when she asked if he was ok. That was such progress!

In fact, Lucifer offered a suggestion, directly at Dan, when he came over to discuss a case! Dan’s face was extremely shocked.

His progress is still small, but baby steps is the way to go…or at least according to Linda. She said that Lucifer might blunder, but all I need is patience and love. I think I have a lot of those when the subject in question is Lucifer. Somehow, he just brings out my maternal instincts.

Lucifer is sitting in our living room, playing Scrabble with Trixie quietly. I go over and settle down on the couch. He is still more comfortable and relaxed around her, but he has been gradually losing tension when I walk into the room. Before, he would immediately stop talking, and be as still as possible. Now, he only looks at me in question, to ask with his eyes whether I need him to do anything for me. And if I shake my head, he is content in continuing the game with Trixie.

He does have some relapses though. And some weird behavior accompany them. Whenever he thinks I’ll abandon him, he spaces out after I’ve reassured him of my affection for him. I always wonder what he’s thinking then, but my training, and more recently Linda, tells me that I should wait for him to tell me himself when he’s ready. I really hope he’s ready soon. Wherever he goes during these moments, I want to pull him back.

He looks up from their game, and asks with his expressive eyes whether I need anything. I smiled and shake my head, and he turns back to the game. I let a smile grow on my face. I love it when he’s relaxed in my presence. It can almost make me forget how terrified of me he was just a few days ago.

“Hey! You cheated!” I snap my attention back to Lucifer and Trixie.

“What?! I didn’t!” Lucifer denies.

“How do you explain winning 5 rounds in a row!” Trixie pouted petulantly.

Lucifer opens his mouth to defend himself, but I speak out before he can say anything.

  
“What’s going on?” Lucifer turns his head towards me, stares at me with widened eyes, then looks down, his fingers scuffing the edges of his shirt.

“I didn’t cheat…” He says softly, almost mumbling. I strain my ears to hear, but I can already guess what he was saying. Of course he didn’t cheat! He isn’t in his nature. I look at Trixie, and she has the good mind to look chastised before I even start on her. She knew how insecure Lucifer is in his place in our family. I throw her an admonishing look. I know she saw my mouth twitch though, because barring Lucifer’s insecurity, the situation _was_ pretty hilarious.

“I know you didn’t cheat, Darling.” I tell him as soothingly as I can. And then there it is again. He spaced out, and I don’t know where his mind has gone to.

** Lucifer POV **

** **

_“No…Father…it wasn’t” I tried to explain. I didn’t do it. I really, really didn’t! I tried so hard to please all of them! Why would I dare to step a tow out of line?_

_“Silence! You pathetic fool! You have no right to speak to Father at all!” Michael turned back towards Father after he smacked me in the face._

_“Father, Samael is nothing but a liar. Look at how he tried to lie to you just moments ago! He started the fire in Amenadiel’s rooms! Poor Amenadiel! No longer have a place to stay! We found traces of Samael’s energy around Amenadiel’s rooms. It can only be him!” _

_I shook my head, and stared imploringly at my father. I didn’t, I really didn’t! I did go to Amenadiel’s rooms…but that was because Amenadiel asked for some food. I was delivering the food! But he wasn’t there and the fire started out of nowhere! I barely escaped myself! Why would I endanger myself like that? Please see sense father! Please see what is so obvious right now!_

_Father shook his head, sighed as if disappointed, then waved his hands dismissively. No…no no no! Not that again! Michael waved his right hand, and Amenadiel and Gabriel is immediately beside Michael. Michael and Gabriel looked at Amenadiel, and he nodded. I was immediately held with my arms behind my back, and Michael started pounding his fists in my stomach. I doubled over, or tried to, but Gabriel’s hold prevented it. When they had enough, they all but dragged my limp body to the pit and dropped me in. _

_I was too weak to protest, but my heart couldn’t help but start racing. I stared helplessly as they lowered a large slab over the pit, and then…there was no light. The pit negates any power I possess, and I couldn’t even make my own stars. It was pitch black, I couldn’t even see my hands. I trembled as reality sinks in. I’m in here again. I’m being punished for something I didn’t do…again. I let out a huge sob, and then I broke down. Please let me out…please! I won’t do it again! I’m sorry! I’m sorry…_

I stare at the Detective. She said she knew! She believed me even without an explanation! It is a novel experience, not having to fight for my truth. She took my words at face-value, she never doubts me. She is such a…a…great person! No! She’s the best being ever! I feel tears welling up in my eyes, and I hastily look away.

The little human slides closer to me, almost sitting on my lap, and puts her hands on mine.

“I’m sorry Lucifer. I didn’t mean to accuse you. I know you didn’t cheat too.” Well…she did accuse me of something I’d never do, but she’s a child and is prone to be childish. I cannot fault her for that.

“It’s okay child.” I tell her. I lean forward until my mouth is by her ear, “but you owe me!”

I smirk at her as she laughs delightfully. I love that! I love that she can laugh joyfully at owing me a favour. I love how she trusts that I won’t take advantage of her. I love how…when Beatrice laughs, the Detective laughs too. The little human explains between breaths what she is laughing at, and the Detective only grins widely. I love this family, I really do!

All good things don’t last.

That’s a sentence that I hate, just because of how truthful it is. In the midst of an enjoyable afternoon, my past just have to catch up to me. The doorbell rang, but I already know who the people are outside. Why are they here? They have no business being here!


	6. Chapter 6 - Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wel...the title of the chapter says it all!

### Chapter 6 – Reveal

** Lucifer’s POV **

I stare in horror as the Detective walks towards the door. No! She can’t! They’re dangerous! I flit across the room in record time, standing right in front of her, blocking her way to the door. She startles, and gasps, but is otherwise pretty calm about my sudden display of speed.

“Lucifer! What are you doing?”

I’m trembling, how can I not be? I’m defying her wishes, and disobeying a superior always, _always¸_ ended with my punishment. But she said she’s my friend, and no matter what, her safety and well-being trumps any punishment I might have to endure.

“_Please, _just, don’t open the door.” I plead. She frowns and furrows her brows, I hate it when I cause her upset, but there’s no way around it. I cannot let her open the door.

“Lu…” She starts, but to my horror, an amused laughter floats through the door and sends thousands of knives of panic straight through my chest. I stiffen in fear as I acknowledge their presences. I want to run, but the Detective is here, and I’d die before leaving her defenseless.

“It’s amusing how you think a mere locked door would be able to stop me, Sammy.” And I hear the telltale click to the door unlocking, and the doorknob turning. I react on instinct, pulling the Detective as far from the door as the room would allow, and I stand in front of her.

“Beatrice, come here.” I call to the urchin desperately. She reacts as well as could be, swift as a fox, scooting to the back of my legs.

The door opens and there they are, standing right in front of me, smiling as if they have done no wrong. They probably haven’t, in their views. The sadistic bastards. I greet them, not willing to let them sense my fear.

“Hello Michael, Gabriel.” I still cannot help but shudder at their responding grins.

They walk into the house like they owned it, without regard to the Detective’s privacy. Michael swipes his hand across the sofa, and Gabriel walks right up to me.

“Still defiant, I see.” Michael says, and I lean as far as I could go from Gabriel. He shot his hands out to strangle him, and I saw it, but to avoid his attack would mean leaving the Detective vulnerable to them, and I am not willing, _never willing, _to put them in that situation. I let him put his hands around my neck, and pull me towards his face.

“Oooooh! How you have fallen, brother.” He hissed, “you should be able to avoid that simple attack easily. Have you been remiss in your training? Or…wait…you _care_ for them? Ohoho!” He laughs gleefully, pulling me by the neck further from the Detective and Beatrice. I twist my head, intent on escaping his grip, but Michael steps into my peripheral absent-mindedly, and I slump. He’s got the Deckers in his hands.

Gabriel pulls me to the middle of the room, lets one of hands go and pulls my hair, bending my neck upwards painfully. I kept the gasp in, but when he twists me around and kicks me in the back of my knees, I cannot help the sharp intake of breath.

I struggle from my crouched position to a upright kneeling one, and saw Michael standing right behind the two most important people in my life, one hand on each of their shoulder. I look at the Detective, and immediately see her determined clenched jaws and hard glint in her eyes. She’s going to try breaking his hold! She can’t! She’ll put herself in danger! I shook my head at her, as subtly as I could, hoping she gets it. And she does! Thank hell for small mercies. She clenches her fists and glares at me, and a tendril of fear slides down my spine. I’ve made her angry, that is the last thing I want to do! But whatever punishment she thinks up later, I’ll live with it better than with her gone or dead. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask, in an attempt to distract their attention from the two girls. He smiles at me amusedly, like he knows what I’m trying to do.

“To destroy you, of course.” Michael says such cruel things so matter-of-factly. How can I be his brother? How can I be part of such a family?

“Do they know?” I flicker my eyes at the Detective and her daughter, and they look ashen. I swallow a lump in my throat, and shake my head.

“My oh my…what a little liar.” And I flinch. I never lie! I have never lied!

_“Father! I’m telling the truth! Please!”_

_“He’s a liar!”_

_“He lies!” _

The guilt I’ve been holding ever since I realized it’s unfair to keep my nature from the Detective rises up to the forefront of my mind.

The Detective was uncharacteristically quiet. As is the spawn. I glance at the Detective, and her eyes are closed. But I see the tiny drops of wetness at her lashes anyway.

“Show them then.” What? No no no no no! No! He cannot mean what he is saying! _Show them?_ They’ll hate me! I shake my head in protest. Michael purses his lips and turns to look at the Detective. Something dangerous flashes in his eyes, and he grabs her face between his his thumb and the rest of his fingers.

“Open your eyes, and look at him!” He hisses at her, and I lunge forward in response. Gabriel’s hold on me was absolute, and I cry out in despair as I look at the Detective open her eyes in humiliating pain. This is all my fault!

“Ok! _Please!_ I…I’ll show them, just…don’t touch them.” He laughs manically. Tears start to pool in my eyes. I turn my gaze towards the Detective.

“Please don’t hate me.” She shook her head no in response.

“I won’t.” She promises. I turn towards the little human, and apologize in advance for scaring her. Her tears start falling along her cheeks, and another stab of helplessness overcome me.

Michael puts his hands around both their necks, “hurry up!” he rushes, and I crouch into myself, make myself as small as possible, as unthreatening as possible, and I let my face shift. I close my eyes and hear twin gasps. My hands are finally free, and I hear a flutter of wings and a whisper saying, “We’ll be back tomorrow, Sammy.”

I kneel there in penitence. They must hate me now. They have every right to be. I’m a monster, and a source of danger, and I put them in such impossible situations. I don’t deserve their kindness. I feel my tears gathering, and I couldn’t hate myself more than ever. I’m the cause of all the bad things in the Detective’s and her daughter’s life, and here I am feeling pity for myself. Selfish, unworthy, I’m the Devil.

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

I stare at his face, red, and angry, and…monstrous. The moment we are free, Trixie latches on to me, and I hug her as tightly as I could, all the while unable to tear my eyes of the man…devil…kneeling in front of us.

It’s all real…it’s all real! Oh…my…g…no…shit. It’s all real…


	7. Chapter 7

###  Chapter 7 – Acceptance

Chloe stares at Lucifer for an infinite amount of time. Well, it was really only four or five minutes, but to them, it felt like an eternity. The younger Decker inches forward, towards the Devil, and with determination, shakes off the trembling grip her mother has on her shoulder. This is _Lucifer!_ He won’t ever hurt them! All he did was show his other face like Maze did on Halloween.

She keeps moving until she is directly before her favourite person, and hesitating slightly, she touches his face, causing a ripple of emotions to flit across the red, angry skin swiftly as twin gasps sound around her. Lucifer continues to crouch inwards, trying so, so hard to keep himself as non-threatening as possible. But as he feels a tiny hand land on his scarred face, he begins to feel fervent adoration for the little human being. For someone as easily influenced by others as a young girl is supposed to be, she is awfully insightful and _brave_.

Lucifer feels her hand stroking his skin, and all he wants to do is stay in that position for as long as they allow him. He never wants to scare his two favourite Deckers in the world, and he never wants them to fear him!

Chloe sees her daughter touch that…that _skin_, and can only gasp at her bravery…or stupidity. But the man with the scary face never moves. He kneels at the spot, doing nothing one would expect a Devil will do. In fact, the so-called Devil seemed to shy away from them and looked almost…afraid…of them. Just…just like how Lucifer always is when he thinks Chloe’s going to abandon him. Chloe gasps again as she realizes that’s what he _expects_ to happen now that he showed them his…the…his face. She swallows the lump that suddenly becomes too large in her throat, and calls her daughter back to her with a hoarse voice.

Lucifer finches at her voice. _She’s going to tell the child that she shouldn’t touch me._ He thinks.

_“Do. Not. Touch him! Darling, come back to me.” His father told Azrael as she reached out to him. Lucifer was kneeling in the middle of the…throne room…so to speak. Well…there was a throne, and it’s a room. Throne room was as good a name as any. They never did name the room anyway. _

_“Daaaaad! Sammy is a good brother! Why are you hurting him!” Azrael has always been such a good sister._

_His…rebellion…has cost him his dignity, not that he ever had any, and his freedom. He was beaten down and locked in a cell until he was brought to this room, in chains, and on his knees._

_“You have disappointed me beyond compare, Son. You have never been a good son, but I at the very least expected some loyalty from someone I have taught and loved since he was created. But my efforts to be a father will forever be my failure, for to ever be responsible for such a son…I can only feel despair.” Lucifer pursed his lips, but he never spoke. He’s tired, and way…way to sure what would happen if he tried. He wouldn’t be heard anyway._

_“Our home, from now on, will be closed to you from now on. Michael, make sure he leaves without fuss.”_

_Michael pulled on his chains and Lucifer struggled to rise to his feet. Azrael tried to help him, holding his hand and pulling him up with her pitiful little strength. _

_“AZRAEL!” His father roared, “I said…DO NOT TOUCH HIM!” His little sister snatched her hands back from him immediately, as if she was burned by his skin. His father stomped towards them, roughly pulled Azrael away from his and backhanded him across his face. _

Chloe sees his flinch and paused. What was she doing? He’s the devil, but…he’s never lied to her, and the way he has been acting for a while now…the devil…listens to her. Is _afraid_ of her. She called Trixie back so she could take her place, but it’s obvious Lucifer took it in the exact opposite way. She slid her hand down Trixie’s back soothingly as she steps around her and kneels down in front of Lucifer. He has his eyes screwed shut, and she catches a glimpse of his trembling clenched fist.

She lifts her hand up and touches Lucifer’s cheek, and he jerks himself back so violently he lost his balance and lands on his backside.

“I…I’m sorry…I’m sorry. Please…” He pleads, and Chloe feels her eyes tear up. She reaches out again, with both hands this time, and cups his face between her palms. He keeps his eyes closed and trembles even more when he feels the Detective’s hands on his face. He’s tried…relentlessly…to change his face back, yet his face stubbornly refuses to let him feel the corresponding cool wave he usually feels when he pushes it away.

_Lucifer stumbled back a little before regaining his balance, but Michael yanked his chain and he had no choice but to follow him to the gates. He was shoved to the ground, and Michael stomped his leg on his chest. _

_“You should beg for mercy.”_

** Lucifer’s POV **

** **

I stood up to Michael before when he threw me out and down into hell. I glared at my father when I realized he was never going to love me back. But when facing the Detective, I couldn’t help but fear her ire or upset. I won’t ever be able to disagree with her, and I _know_ I would never be able to look at her funny, much less _glare_ at her. No matter is she is ever going to love me back, regardless of her feelings for me. I’m so gone I would be her willing slave for all eternity. But this bloody inability to control my emotions, actions and now my _physical appearance_? Inconvenient.

The detective places her hands on my face, so gently I almost think she cares. No…that was unfair, she does care. She’s proven to me again and again she’s the best human being there is. _I _was the one underserving of her. I take a deep breath, and waited for the detective’s words, no doubt something good and kind and yet, is going to break my heart.

She’s going to chase me out of her life, and tell me I’m not allowed to see her spawn again. She’s going to tell me she liked me but now…

I cannot help the tremors coming up my body every few seconds.

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

“Lucifer?” I try and gain his attention, “Look at me.” I sigh as I realise how like a command that was. He slowly turns his head over and faces me, then opens his eyes. They pause on my eyes, and I can see, with perfect clarity, the fear he has concealed behind those lids.

“I’m not angry with you, ok?” I tell him with as much sincerity as I can muster, “I’m not going anywhere.”


	8. Chapter 8

### Chapter 8 – Relief

** Lucifer’s POV **

** **

How…how can she still be such…_an angel? _She’s perfect in every way, and I was……just…the _devil. _I notice how the tears well up in her eyes, and I swallow. My fault, definitely my fault. Whatever she’s upset about, I have always been the one blamed.

“Lucifer, babe, I’m not going anywhere, alright?” The Detective says again. She’s not going anywhere…what does she mean? Does that mean she won’t leave me, or is she going to stay and punish me? I…I did tell her that the cane would be exceptionally effective…and she’s definitely upset with me. If…I mean…my behavior…my very existence…must be _pretty_ upsetting. I just…hope…that she won’t make me hurt myself. I would obey, of course I would, but…it’s a lot more agonizing if I were to inflict pain on myself.

I must be begging quite incoherently for mercy. I can hear myself spouting pleas as my body trembles in fear. I stare hopelessly at the Detective’s eyes, if I am to be punished, I hope those eyes are the last thing I see before I experience unimaginable pain.

The Detective pulls me up, and I expected her to haul me into a compromising position so she can conveniently inflict pain upon my body. That’s how most of my punishment happen before…well…_before. _Michael would pull me upright by my hair, and shove me onto a surface, crushing my face onto it. Most of the time…a table, or a desk. He would always hiss into my ear, the number I am due to endure, and that if I move…even an inch…they would start over. Amenadiel was always the counter. He counted the number of strokes I’ve suffered, and observed me as I received the punishment. If I bent my knees in agony, or my hands slipped on the table and I moved a little, he would restart. A couple thousand strokes would always _always_ become a couple hundred thousands. What’s worse is _angels do not get tired_.

The Detective does no such thing, however. She gently picks me up, and although I’m still kinda wobbly, I still try to bear my own weight as she leads me into the living room. I follow her, thoughts running through my head at rapid speed. Is she going to put me over the couch? Or..just hang me up in the living room? She stops after a while, and pushes me backwards and downwards, and suddenly, I’m sitting in the couch.

She strokes my face a couple times, “I’m be right back. Stay right here.” And I look as she walks back to the little human. Is my punishment delayed then? I look as the Detective send the offspring towards me, and the little human practically climbs onto my lap, and I re-focus my attention to the younger Decker. She deserves my attention, for how brave she is, and how loving she is, and…just…being _her._ I wrap my arms around her small body securely to prevent any accidents, and she starts to talk. About what…I’m not sure, but I love the way it feels to have a child cling onto me without fear.

The little human fists her hands in my shirt, and for the first time, I cannot summon the annoyance I usually feel at the crinkling of my clothes. She deserves to do whatever she likes whenever she likes for all the acceptance she’s shown me. She chatters away, something about her little urchin jail life, and I listen as raptly as I can, although half of my attention is on the detective’s movements behind me.

When she was at the point of the event she was reiterating where she finds out who had taken her Alien plush toy _before _her show and tell (which outrages me, who steals from the best offspring ever?!), the Detective rounds to my front and sits beside me. She puts her hand on my arm, and I stiffen, but remain still. She lets her urchin finish her story before telling her to wash up and get ready for bed, and I await my sentence as I listen to their ministrations around the house.

My face is still the red, angry, monstrous sight, and for the life of me, I cannot seem to put it away. This cannot be pleasant for the Detective or the spawn. Well, at least she believes me when I talk about Cain now…but unsurprisingly…that is the least of my problems. Michael and Gabriel will be back…and I don’t know how to protect the two girls from getting hurt. That’s my problem since the beginning, isn’t it? I have never been able to protect anyone under my care.

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

I come back into the living room after tucking Trixie in, and I see Lucifer, sitting on the couch, lost in his thoughts, looking the picture of dejection. His face was still the same…and I wonder why he hasn’t changed it back yet. I walk over and sit back down beside him, and he stiffen…as he always does when I’m in his vicinity.

“Lucifer?” I call, and he responds with his usual “Yes, Detective?”

“Why haven’t you changed your face back?” And he _flinches_.

“I…I’m sorry, Detective. I…I can’t seem to do it…I…I tried.” He repllies softly. Oh. So he’s not deliberately making us see this side of him to force our acceptance. The pain in his voice suggests he hates this side of him…too much. I initially thought his brothers might have done something to make sure he stays this way, but…can it be just because of Lucifer’s state of mind.

“How…how do you usually change it back?”

“I just…push it away…and it goes.”

“Ok…ok, then let’s try it again. Take a deep breath, relax.” And he tries, I can tell with his expression, he tries so hard he panics when he realizes it isn’t working.

“I…I’m sorry.” He tearfully apologises, and I realise how afraid of disappointing me he was. I go up and kneel on the couch beside him, and pull his face into my stomach, circling his head with my arms, burying him in my embrace. He needs reassurance of my affections, and a promise he won’t be punished for not being able to do it. He freezes at my action, his hands unsure and flailing at his sides. For the thousandth time, I curse his Father for causing all this hurt.

“Hush, darling. It’ll be fine. Now, try again. Take a deep breath, and relax. I’m not going to punish you if you fail, I promise. There won’t be any punishing at all, in fact. Just let all your worries go. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, you’re with me.” I kiss him on his temple, causing him to choke a little in surprise (or shock), and just hug him in this position. I’m sure he’ll let me know when he wants me to let go.

He sniffles a little, and I feel him snuggle into my stomach further. After a few long minutes, the bare head I was hugging, the ridges and the red, disappears. In their places was the almost curly hair he usually has, and his normal…non-scary…face. I continue to hug him, and he makes no indication that he wants me to release him, so I content myself with the closeness we rarely feel these days. Lucifer brings his hands up to my waist after a while, and holds me to himself, and he takes a deep breath and I feel his shoulders droop in relief.

We stay like this for long time, before Lucifer lets go of me abruptly, appearing to be listening intently at something. Then I hear the worse sound in my life.

Trixie is screaming.


	9. Chapter 9

###  Chapter 9 – Hostage

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

I look at Lucifer in horror, but he isn’t paying attention to me. He bolts upright, and faster than I’ve ever seen him move, he flits across the room and runs towards Trixie’s room. I run after him, pretty sure I reacted quicker than any other parent would ever be able to, but in comparison to Lucifer’s speed…I’m like a snail, and that just makes me even more scared for my girl. If Lucifer is reacting this quickly, it has to be a kind of danger that needs that amount of speed. He’s never been that fast in any of the cases we worked together on.

I reach Trixie’s room just in time to see Lucifer with his hands raised in a placating manner, backing out of the room. And I see Michael walking out, holding Trixie in front of him, one hand around her waist to hold her in position, and the other around her neck. Trixie’s eyes were widened in fear, but my brave little girl is trying so hard not to cry. I let out a sob in fear of the situation.

“Brother…what do you want? Just tell me, I’ll give you anything, just…let the child go.” Michael sneers at Lucifer’s words, as my heart skips a beat at the same time. Don’t promise him anything! My cop side wants to yell at him. But…my mom side, selfishly, hopes Michael takes his offer. I feel tears that has been welling up during all the pain I witnessed Lucifer suffer today fall at the sight of my daughter in danger and my own selfishness. But…what choice do I have. Trixie’s my _everything_.

“You think they love you, don’t you brother?” The deranged angel asks, “Well, I’m here to let you know how…_un_lovable you are. You’re going to come with me, and…bring your human with you. I’ll keep this little one with me to keep your human in check.” And then he unfurls his wings, brown as mud, and disappears. I gasp in despair, and turn towards Lucifer.

“I’ll get her back. I promise.” He rushes to assure me. He reaches towards me as his wings unfurls, and wraps me in his arms.

** Lucifer’s POV **

** **

I focus on Michael’s flight energy, and fly the Detective and myself to his destination. I put my wings away, and see, for the first time in millennia, the house I lived in since I was created. Michael sits at the table in the middle of the room, at the seat he always sit on, only this time, the urchin is on his lap. Beside him, as usual, is Gabriel. And surprise, surprise, Amenadiel is joining in this time too.

“So! Sammy dear, here are the rules. You attack us, I snap her neck. You disobey us, I snap her neck. You do anything I don’t like, I snap her neck. Easy? Of course it is. Now, keep your human in check, or I will…wait for it…I snap her neck.” The Detective squeezes my hands in what I can only assume is fear for her daughter. I swallow as I wait for Michael’s next move. This place has held all of my bad memories in my childhood, I know this will be bad. But if I can, I hope I can protect the Detective and the little urchin from all I endured in the past.

Amenadiel rises from his seat, and walks into the kitchen. I angle myself so I stand between him and the Detective as he walks past us. He doesn’t spare me a glance, just as he didn’t before.

“Sit down, human.” Michael addresses the Detective, and I pull her behind me, feeling a growl form in my throat. But he puts his hand on the urchin’s neck so casually, I freeze. The Detective, strong as ever, walks forward and sits in the chair opposite him and the urchin.

“Trixie, babe, you’re going to be alright, ok?” She tries to reassure the child. Amenadiel walks out of the kitchen with a disgruntled expression, glaring at me as he walks past me again, and sits in his chair.

“I’m hungry.” he states. Gabriel looks in his direction, and asks: “Well, how about lunch then?” Michael shrugs, and Gabriel looks at me expectantly. The Detective keeps her eyes on the urchin, and the urchin trembles as she tries very hard to keep her sobs in. I swallow and tear my eyes away from them, and step into the kitchen. Ok, they want me to serve them again. I just need to obey and they’ll be safe.

The day goes on in agonizing slowness. I cook and clean and do everything they command, as the Detective seethes in silence. I want to snatch the child from Michael, but we all know I won’t be fast enough. Plus, even if I was, we wouldn’t make it out of there easily. The three of them make a very _very _good team. When it is time to retire, they tell the Detective to sleep in my room, and her daughter will be staying with Michael. He gives me a sinister grin as Gabriel shoves us into my room, and I quickly push the Detective into the left corner of the bare room.

“This is your room?” The Detective asks as she lets me maneuver us into the corner, “There isn’t a bed?”

“There was.” I tell her, and quick as I can, I make her sit on the ground in as comfortable a position as I can put her in, and put my hands on the walls on both sides of her head as I attempt to cover her with as much of my body as I can.

“Detective, please don’t move. You have to stay here for the rest of the night, ok? I…are you comfortable? Do you need to adjust your position? We only have about a few seconds more.” I say in a rush. She look at me in confusion, and as she opens her mouth to question me, her eyes widens and I feel a burning spot on my back.

“Lucifer!” She struggles to turn me around so she can see, but I stay firmly in position.

“Please don’t move detective! I’m sorry! Please!” I plead as I try not to give in to what she desires. I see her purse her lips and take a deep breath as she gets ready to ream into me, but she pauses when she sees something behind me, and I feel another burning sensation on my lower back.

“Mmph!” I try to keep my groan in, but it really hurts…

My room, is a torture chamber, where poisonous balls of light rain from the ceiling, and there is only one safe corner to hide in. I had a bed, I really did, it didn’t survive the raining poison. The door to the room was designed and made specifically to negate my ease with locks, and I hid in this very corner every night, avoiding the poison.

I feel the Detective struggling to stand up, and I hold onto her firmly, “Please don’t move…mmph!”

“Let me up! We can stand up and both be out of range. Lucifer!” She’s starting to cry, and I regret upsetting her so much.

“I’m sorry, detective. Please! We cannot stand the whole night, believe me, I know how it would turn out. You need to sleep, and…and I can handle the…mmph! It won’t kill me. Please just go to sleep. I won’t let you get hurt, I promise.”

“If you think I can sleep in this situation, Lucifer…you…”

“Mmph! Please!” I cut her rant off as another drop hit me, and I cannot help but bury my face in her neck. The fact is, if we stand up, it wouldn’t help. The rain is falling at an angle, and it would still hit me at my back if I was standing.

“Ok…ok…stop berating the Devil that’s trying to protect you. Ok…we’ll be fine. It’s just a little poisonous rain of light. What can go wrong? We’ll be fine!” She’s sobbing now, and I gulp as I feel another drop. She’s stroking me on the back of my neck, being in the perfect position as I crouch over her protectively. And we stay like this, her soothing me as I endure the stray drops throughout the whole night.


	10. Chapter 10

###  Chapter 10 – Pray

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

I hold onto Lucifer as we suffer through the night. Lucifer…as usual…apologises for things he has absolutely no control over. How is any of this his fault? As if I can blame him for his brother’s actions. But…this must be what he has been made to endure throughout his life. Blamed for everything he hasn’t done, a scapegoat for every wrongdoing that wasn’t ever his fault to begin with.

He angles himself a little as he sees a drop land too close to my feet. I try not to move too much, but my legs cramp up and I cannot help but stretch them subconsciously. He lets me, of course he does, the idiot, and he covers my legs with his body as I make myself more comfortable. And he gets hit with the rain more.

The rain stops just when I cannot take anymore of this torture. I reach out to push a few strands of stray hair out of Lucifer’s face as he continues to breathe into my neck. He’s been doing that the whole night. I imagine the constant pain he’s in throughout the night must be making him lose his strength little by little. He’s as weak as a kitten now. I stroke the nape of his neck, just the way he likes it, but he only lets me for a few minutes before he pushes himself up.

He offers me a hand and lifts me up to my feet as well, then turns to face the door, standing before me protectively. Amenadiel opens the door, glances at us, then walks away. Lucifer grabs my hand, squeezes them in reassurance, then leads me out of the room. And I see Michael sitting there on the sofa, Trixie still in his lap, and it is all I could do to restrain myself from launching myself at him.

_God, if you’re listening…why are you letting them do this. She’s my daughter! Why did you create us if all you want to do is toy with us all? How could you let your sons do this? How…how can you be such a cruel bastard. I will kill you, if my daughter gets hurt, rest assured I will find you, and kill you, do you hear me?_

What am I doing? God’s never going to help. Lucifer’s situation says it all. This house says everything about his childhood. And God. Did. Nothing. There is no way we can get any help here. Lucifer is sacrificing his free will again and again for us, protecting us through and through, but _God_ who is supposed to be the one looking out for us, is probably on a millennia long vacation. I have always resented Lucifer’s father for all the crap he’s made Lucifer go through, but now that I know it’s God…_how_ could this be happening right under his nose?

“Human, today, we are going to put your love for the Devil to the test. Now, either little Sammy suffers…or I break this little girl’s spine. _Choose_.” My eyes must have widened at his nonchalant words. _Break her spine?_ I look up at Lucifer in panic. He only looks at me sadly, then smiles tremulously. _Don’t worry._ He mouthed.

“Any day now, human.” And I have to…_I have to_…choose Trixie.

“Trixie! I choose Trixie, _please_!”

“See brother, no one loves you.” Michael says.

“Michael.” Amenadiel says in warning, _as if he cares_. As if he wasn’t there yesterday to witness all the hurts that happened in this house. As if he didn’t see Michael threaten my daughter’s life over and _bloody over again_. God, I sound like Lucifer.

“What?” Michael answers with the petulance of a three-year-old, and I have to wonder if this is really a huge, celestial tantrum.

“I know it’s true, but don’t say things that might attract Father’s attention ok?” And there goes my bad impression of Amenadiel. It’s become the _worse impression ever._ He is officially on my shit list. 

Lucifer stiffen beside me abruptly, and I look at him in confusion. But the three other angels stood up in shock as well. The front door opens, and a stream of light pushes into the darkened house, and a silhouette enters.

** Lucifer’s POV **

** **

I cannot help my trembles that shook through my body as I recognize the man standing before us.

_Dad._

What is he doing here? He has never been here before. I’ve only ever seen him when Michael brings me before him.

“What’s going on here?” He asks, and all of us shivers. I feel a tug on my hand and realise the Detective is looking at me in question. I lean towards her and whisper the answer she is looking for.

_Dad._

Her brows furrow a little, but I refocus on what’s happening before me. Michael doesn’t seem too worried about our Father’s presence.

“Samuel?” He turns and look at me, and I shrink into myself. He looks really angry suddenly, “What are you doing here?” He asks me softly, not unlike how the Detective speaks when she is furious with me. I gulp and took a step back, taking the Detective with me.

“Father.” Michael addresses him formally, the sucker, “Samuel has breached the gates and brought two humans with him alive! He brought them to us thinking we’d help them, but I assure you, Father, we had no intention of letting him carry out whatever nefarious plans he concocted on Earth.”

Just like that, Father believes Michael without hesitation, and roars at me, “How Dare You!” I thought I would be able to protect the Detective and the urchin from their wrath, I really thought that. But one look at my Father, and I just know…I can never win. He’s going to punish me again, severely, and I might even be forced to separate from the Detective and everyone else. I feel tears well up in my eyes against my will, as if it would help to cry about the situation. I scoff at my own reaction.

“Just like that?” I gasp as the Detective shake my hands off, and steps in front of me, blocking my view of my Father. Father reels his anger in as he realizes who is standing in front of him.

“Chloe Decker? You prayed to me a few minutes ago. Is this why you prayed? Because my son brought you here against your will?” He listens? I suppose…he listens to anyone but me…

“Yes…yes your son brought me here against my will. Your _son_, threatened my and my daughter’s life, to make me do his bidding. Your son, _who is not the devil_, who is holding Trixie in front of him like a shield, your son _Michael_.” The Detective is raging at my Father, and even though she looks so sexy and absolutely like a Goddess when she does that, I twitch nervously at the possibility of my Father smiting her to dust.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Explanations

Lucifer’s POV

“Wait…what?”

“No, that’s not true!” 

“Father! It’s Lucifer! You cannot trust anybody who sympathises with him!”

“SILENCE!” Everyone starts talking at the same time, except the Detective and me of course, and Father lost his patience. They all shut their mouth at once, and Father turns back to the Detective. 

“You’re telling me that Michael is the one threatening your life right now?” He asks disbelievingly, and I lower my eyes to the ground. He never believes in me anyway.

“Michael why are you holding the child. Let her go.” Father says, and finally, finally, the urchin is in her mother’s arms. They hug for a long moment, and then the Detective pushes the urchin in my direction gently. The child clings onto my legs immediately. 

“Did you even ask Lucifer what happened?” She continues to ask my Father like he is another random parent she’s interrogating.

“What?” Father must be so baffled at her behavior. No one has questioned his judgement before.

“Michael just told you Lucifer did a lot of bad things. Why didn’t you confirm it with Lucifer?” The Detective is relentless.

“I don’t need to. Michael wouldn’t lie to me.” Father couldn’t imagine Michael lying…ha! What an ironic joke my life has turned out to be.

“How do you know?” 

“What? Of course I know! He’s my son!” Of course he is. I was the problem. I wasn’t your son.

“So’s Lucifer! He’s your son too! Why have you never listened to him? Lucifer has never lied to me, not even once! Why would you think he would lie to you?”

“I…” Now he’s speechless. Go Detective!

“Have you ever asked him his side of the story, or have you just taken Michael’s word for it?”

“I gave him many chances, Detective Decker. He lied to me again and again.” I didn’t! 

“How did you know he lied?! You didn’t bother finding out! Just because he says something different doesn’t mean he isn’t telling the truth! You were supposed to be omniscient! How can you be so naïve!” The Detective takes a deep breath after her rant, then continues.

“Give me one example of him lying to you.” 

“He told me he didn’t set Amenadiel’s quarters on fire. His energy was all over the place. He was lying.” 

“Lucifer?” I start at her call.

“Yes Detective?” I answer. 

“Detective Decker, I assure you, I gave him every chance to explain. He did not!” Father speaks impatiently.

“Just shut up, and listen! For once! Can you do that? Or are you too omniscient to have that function?” I pull her towards me as I feel Father’s annoyance grow. But all he does was seethe in silence, and I feel the Detective turn towards me. 

“Lucifer? Did you burn Amenadiel’s quarters?” I purse my lips, and put both my hands behind my back. I don’t want to explain. Every time I tried has only resulted in disaster after disaster. The child tugs on my pants, and I shake my head at her pleading eyes. 

“Lucifer?” I shake my head again, stronger this time. 

The Detective is not known for giving up though, because what she says next makes my blood run cold, and I can only do as she desires. 

“Lucifer if you do not explain right now, I will ignore you when we get home. No calls, no texts, no visits to the penthouse. And don’t think you can come to me either. You won’t be allowed into my house, and I will not allow your presence in my workplace any longer. Do you understand me? Explain, now.” 

Chloe’s POV

Lucifer looks up at me in shock. He begs me with his eyes to take back what I said, but I stand firm. He needs to tell his Father what happened. I regret using such a dirty-handed method in making him talk, but I’m stressed, and we need God’s help, and I don’t want him to be thrown back to hell to suffer for an eternity again. 

Lucifer bites his lower lip, and sniffles, tearing at my heart a little, before he starts.

“I…I was delivering food, Amenadiel had asked for some food, and I brought some over. The house went up in flames while I was inside. Amenadiel wasn’t there then.” 

I turn back to God, “Does that explain his energy at the house?” 

“Yes…but…that wasn’t what Michael said happened.” He frowns. I take a glance at Lucifer, and he’s already looked back down at the urchin, resting his hand on her head, stroking her hair soothingly. 

“Then how do you know who’s telling the truth?” God doesn’t respond for a while, and I see Lucifer glance up for a second. God looks as if he is looking for something in his mind, and I realise…he probably can see what happened all those years…centuries?...ago. I hear Lucifer sigh as he realises he will be believed this time. It’s amazing, how I can make God look, when his own son can’t. Note the sarcasm.

“Samuel…” He breathes out after a while. I see Lucifer peer at him through his lashes in response.


	12. Chapter 12

###  Chapter 12 – Hopelessness

** Lucifer’s POV **

“Look into his life here as a child too.” Somehow, the Detective is able to guess what my Father did easily. I tug at her sleeve, unsure if I’ve satisfied her demand, and if she’s still angry with me for not speaking when she asked. She looks at me, and I hastily look down at the child, who is dead on her feet. The Detective slid her hand under my hair and starts to stoke my scalp, and I relax. She’s not angry anymore.

I startle as I feel a building rage from my Father as we wait for his verdict. Is he really looking into my childhood? Look at that…I begged for years, and I received only anger. But the Detective says a few words, and _God_ looks into the truth. The Detective is amazing…I know that, but how can I not feel bitter that Dad listens to the Detective so easily?

I spare a glance for my three other brothers, they have been awfully quiet throughout the whole time the Detective was arguing with Father. Turns out they were ordered into silence just now…literally! My lips twitch as I keep my laughter within. The sight of my three worst brothers talking and seemingly screaming but no sounds coming out is so satisfying.

“Michael, Amenadiel, Gabriel. Go to my chambers, immediately, and I will deal with you later.” Father suddenly says…softly. I lower my sight again, not wanting to draw any of the anger to myself. I see his hand reaching towards me though, and I flinch, remembering his backhanding me before. But right after that, I start to panic, for he’s always hated it when I was weak, and flinching would almost always warrant a punishment.

Apologise…apologise…_apologise._ Why can’t I speak anymore? I open my mouth, but I cannot breathe. I clench my eyes shut as I try to keep everything under control, but who am I kidding. I have no control anymore.

“Lucifer?” I stop. I look down at a pair of innocent, worried eyes.

“Are you ok?” She asks me. I take a deep breath, and reply, “Yes.”

“Ok.” The little urchin stares at me a little longer, then raises her arms, and I stare at her a moment longer before giving into her demand. I bend my knees a little, and slide my hands under her armpit with practice, lifting her up and circling my arm under her backside so she can comfortably sit on my arm. She leans forward by my ear and whispers: “If something happens, mommy will protect you ok? So you don’t need to be scared.”

It was meant to be only for my ears I believe, but a child’s whisper is never soft enough. I’m sure the Detective and my Father heard her. I try to look affronted at her assumption that I could ever be scared of anything, but reality is, she knows I’m afraid of many things, two of those are the Detective _and_ my Father. The Detective is way better than my Father too, and she made him listen…so I guess she _is _able to protect me from him.

I nod at her in response, and hug her close, her body heat a constant reminder of her easy acceptance and love. I can almost pretend I don’t care for my Father’s love when she’s in my arms like this. I chance a glance at the other two occupants in the room, and see my Father’s frowning face, and the Detective’s adoring one. Ugh…she’s thinking I’m adorable, isn’t she?

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

I look at Lucifer and Trixie’s interaction a little longer before I turn back to God. I _cannot_ believe I am standing in a room with the Devil…and God…and my life is absolutely nuts and is never going back to normal. I blame my dad for this. He’s the one to tell me santa wasn’t real…he’s probably an actual person now! Now that the crisis is almost over…I feel like my thoughts are just going in every weird direction.

“Did you see his childhood?” I ask God. He manage to look regretful at least, but what he says is far from what Lucifer needs.

“I’m sure there is an explanation for their behavior. Samuel’s never been an easy child, you know. You’re a parent, you should know how difficult it is to raise one!” He even sounds like he believes what he’s saying! The prick!

“You’re the parent! _You’re _supposed to be teaching him! Not throwing him out when he makes a little mistake!” I just…why can’t he see how wrong this whole affair is?!

“You do not know the circumstances, Detective. Do not presume…” He seethes, but I cut him off anyway. I probably should have remembered he’s the literal God.

“Do you?!” I scream at him, and Lucifer lets out a pitiful whine. God gives him a glance, and visibly reins his anger in, and I blink in surprise. He doesn’t want to scare Lucifer, that much is clear. But why does he make Lucifer so afraid of him in the first place then! For God’s sake! (Literally!) Lucifer _flinched_ when God reached for him. That says everything about their past interactions!

“Do I what?” God says in exasperation. As if he could be more bone-tired than I am at this moment. He didn’t spend the night in a torture chamber watching someone he cares about get hurt over and over again.

“Do you know the circumstances? How did Lucifer grow up? How is he like as a child? Did you even spend time with him? How do you even _know_ he’s a difficult child?” I ask him questions every parent should know the answer to, but clearly, he’s adamant he knows the answer, because he gives me a response that makes me want to deck him and choke him at the same time.

“He grew up with Michael, Amenadiel and Gabriel. They’re his clique, so to speak, amongst my many children. He’s lazy, and lies all the time. He spent half a century more to be at the skill level I expected all my children to be at the very least. He lays off practice, and slacks off. He’s selfish and only cares about he’s own desires. He’s weak and fearful when he’s facing a more powerful being like myself, but bullies the younger of his siblings when he can.” I…I am just speechless. How is it…that he can spout the _exact opposite_ of Lucifer’s personality?! Lazy? Lies? OMG cares about his own desires? He fulfills others’ desires like _every single day!_ He became my soldier the moment he thinks that’s what I wanted! How…how is this possible.

I whirl back to look at Lucifer, to see his reaction to how incredibly wrong his father is about him, but Lucifer only continues to look at the ground. His shoulders are tighter than before, and he’s hugging Trixie to himself even tighter. He looks dejected and defeated and just resigned. I cannot imagine how this is to him, hearing how his Father’s views of him being that bad.

“Didn’t you look? I thought you were looking into his childhood? What the hell did you see?!” I am beyond furious.

“Yes! I did! I saw Michael punishing him too harshly for slacking off. I saw Amenadiel striking him down for being lazy. I saw Gabriel spouting scathing remarks for his lies. They might have gone too far, but I’m sure they were doing all of that for Samuel’s own good! I’ll reprimand them later, but you cannot tell me Samuel did nothing wrong!”

“You bastard…” I hiss at him, taking a step forward ready to punch him in the face, but a tug on my sleeve stops me. I look back at Lucifer, and he peers at me through his eye lashes, pleading, I assume, for some rationality on my part. Right, he’s God…I can’t punch the living daylights out of him.

“What did you say?” God’s anger is really quite palpable. Every time he gets angry, I can feel the tension in the air.

“If you look at the whole story, instead of only looking at what you want to see, you would see how wrong you are. You…you are not fit to be a Father are you? You’re just a man playing at being a parent with pitiful attempts at control. You know what? We’re done. Let us go, we’re going home.”

“No, Detective. You may return home, but Samuel here broke the rules, and he’ll be tried and punished here. You can leave if you like.”


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Going Forward

Chloe’s POV

“You’re still going to do this? After finding out it was Michael who kidnapped me and my daughter, and forced Lucifer to come up here?” 

“Rules are rules. If I let any of my children break the rules, then there would be chaos.” 

“Rules?” I scoff, “Since when have any of your children followed any rules? Is hurting another sibling without just cause not in the rules? Is forcing torture upon one of your child not in the rules? Is standing up for oneself not one of your rules? You rules suck, by the way.”

“Detective, I am at the end of my patience here. Samuel was punished because he broke the rules, just like today. I do not condone hurting each other, but Michael was in charge of his training, I need to give him a certain amount of authority! Punishment comes with it. Not another of my children had this problem, why is only Samuel the only one? Because he is the one in the wrong!” I clench my fists as I process his words. How can he be so blind?

“For someone as powerful as you, you are as blind as a bat.” I turn to Lucifer. 

“Lucifer?” I’m hoping he can explain this all to his Father, to stand up for himself, to at least make a token protest. He cannot be this defeated. He’s my Lucifer! My Lucifer is loving and kind and downright the epitome of strength. 

“Yes Detective?”

“Tell him how your childhood was.” Lucifer purses his lips, just as he always does when he’s asked to do something he’d prefer not to do. But I guess my threat from earlier stuck, because he didn’t protest. I feel a twinge of guilt in my heart, but unless we deal with this, Lucifer might be severely punished and it would be out of my control. We have to make his Father see! 

  
Lucifer’s POV

The child is fast asleep in my arms at this time. She must not have enough sleep the previous night. The Detective threatened to cut me off if I didn’t explain what she wanted me to previously, I really doubt she’ll let me off the hook this time as well. I take a deep breath, and start talking. 

“The…first few years…were better. I was only asked to train my self-discipline. Michael taught me the basic stance I needed to know, and told me to stay in the position until he told me I could stop.” I close my eyes as I recall my childhood. 

“I remember the first session, I was barely a hundred years old. (For readers: one century = one human year, but they start at 7 years old. So here, he’s almost 8 mentally and physically) Michael made me stay there for nearly a fortnight. I got hungry, and my legs were cramping, I was trembling so hard I just wanted a little break. I broke my position to rest for a few minutes, and Michael was right back in my face immediately. He grabbed me by my hair, and shoved me onto the table, yes the one behind you Father, and Gabriel held me down as Michael took a cane to my backside. I could hear Amenadiel counting, but I passed out around two thousand. It continued for a few months, and I became good at holding the position for as long as a month. So they increased the amount of time I was to do it. The longest I’ve had was 4 months. I was punished almost every single time.” I bury my face into the urchin’s little mop of curly hair, breathing in her scent. It was as soothing as the Detective’s. 

“Every year, Michael presented me to you for the annual sparring session. The siblings born in the same century as me were my opponents. But I only learnt the basic stance, and I didn’t know anything about fighting, so I lost every single fight. The first time I lost a fight, Michael told you I was lazy, and every year, he told you the same thing. When the first century is over, the others were free from training, but because I wasn’t at the skill level you wanted me to be at, you ordered another century for me. The first time I lost a fight in that century, Michael threw me into this pit, wide and hollow, and when he covers it with the huge stone slab, there was only darkness. The pit negates my every power, no strength, no flight, no light. When they finally let me out, I was beaten again. Only this time, I wasn’t allowed to move. If I move, they would restart the count, and my only hope is to pass out so I would stop moving. They started making me serve them. Cook, clean, do their jobs, wipe their weapons. They set me up with Amenadiel’s rooms catching fire around that time. I begged you to believe me, that it wasn’t me. But Michael screamed at me to be silent, and I was afraid of his wrath if I didn’t obey. I…couldn’t explain myself. That was when my room was redesigned too. They blessed my room with poisonous rain, I didn’t know about it the first time. I was shoved in, and it started raining a couple minutes after. It hurt all over, and my clothes dissolved. I tried to leave, but the door wouldn’t open. I banged at the door again and again, I shouted myself hoarse, but no one answered. I found this little corner that I could hide in without any of the drops falling on me, and I sat there the whole night, watching my bed dissolve into nothing. I slept there every night since. Sometimes my legs would accidentally slip, and I would still get burnt by a few drops, but it wasn’t too bad. What’s worse was how I have to kneel most nights, because sitting hurts almost as much as being in that rain. But after a few years, even kneeling hurts.”

“Stop…Samuel…son…just…” I ignore my Father’s protest. His demands hold nothing for me now. Only the Detective’s do. 

“The day our little sister is born, you cared for her personally. You raised her personally, you doted on her more than any of us. She was precious, and to Michael, Gabriel and Amenadiel, she was a threat to your affections for them. They asked for the right to train her when she was created and ready for it, and they did the same thing they did to me. And I began to see the same fear I feel reflected in her eyes. During training one day, I picked her up, and flew like a maniac, that was the first time I used my wings by the way. I deposited her in your rooms, I assumed she would know her way around, and the next day, she was back under your care, and you ordered me to court. I was immediately chained and brought to my knees. You told me how Michael had told you about my little rebellion, that I had struck our little sister down because of jealousy I never felt. That I wanted to stop my training and to jeopardise hers. You locked me in a cell for a couple months before I was brought back before everyone, and you told me how disappointed in me I was. You sentenced me to hell, and roared at Azrael to not touch me when she tried to help. Michael dragged me to the gates, shoved me to the ground, stomped his boots on my chest and told me to beg for mercy. I flipped him the proverbial bird and he threw me down.” 

I stop there. My childhood is over. It wasn’t spectacular…I know. The only highlight was I got out of there eventually. I suppose I should thank my Father for throwing me out. I open my eyes and seek the Detective’s out. She has her hands cupped around her mouth, her tears running down her cheeks, and…

“Why are you crying, Detective? I…I’m sorry! Did I…say something wrong?” I think back to everything I’ve said, and none of them concerns the Detective! What did I say that caused her sadness? I…I suppose I am as bad as Father says, if I make the only person good in my life cry so despairingly with only words. 

The Detective lowers her hands, and reaches towards me. I want to flee, believe me, I really do, but she’s crying and sobbing and gasping and I deserve whatever she wants to do with me. I clench my eyes shut as I wait for the pain, but bewilderingly, I feel absolutely nothing. I open one eye, and see the Detective’s right hand on the urchin’s head, stroking her hair soothingly. Her other hand was coming up as well, but before I can react, it’s already at the back of my neck, scratching and rubbing in comforting circular motions. I relax into her ministrations. No punishments after all. 


	14. Chapter 14

###  Chapter 14 – Going forward II

** Chloe’s POV **

“Do you see now, _God, _how Lucifer lived as a child?” But God can be as stubborn as they come.

“He could be lying…”

“Then _check_.” I all but growl at him. Lucifer jerk under my hands, and I continue rubbing the nape of his neck, and he settle. He’s dead on his feet, all of us are, his eyes are half-lidded and he looks like he is mostly focusing on carrying Trixie in his arms. He’s all but taken over my hands stroking her hair by now.

God has his eyes closed for a few moments, and when he opened them, he set his pair of sad eyes on Lucifer.

“Samuel…son…I’m sorry…I didn’t think they would do this to you. I just…I couldn’t understand how you could be so…mediocre when I made you to be great…and I…I just was too disappointed. But son…you have to believe me…I…didn’t know this was going on here.”

** Lucifer’s POV **

** **

I have to give it to him. He did give a quite sincere apology. But somehow…instead of making me feel better…I only feel rage building up in my chest. He didn’t know…he was disappointed…he couldn’t understand how _I _could be mediocre…

Well…_he’s_ the Father…

“It’s your god-damned job to know.” I growl at him, softly, not wanting to wake the child up. I walk forwards toward him, the Detective reaching out for the urchin and I pass the little girl over to her, and I lay into Father without restraint.

“What do you think I feel about you? Huh? _Dad?_ I was disappointed too, I was in this mess and _I _didn’t know what was happening half the time! In fact…I know for a fact Azrael told you what exactly happened when I returned her to your chambers! Why did you never listen to her?” He has the nerve to look shocked at my anger.

“I…I thought she was too afraid of you to tell the truth…”

“Oh for…goodness sake! How dumb can you get? It’s so easy to find out the truth but you just listen to them and let them manipulate you for _eons_. Seriously?”

He dares to look at me regretfully, reaching out to me as if I should allow his touch. I take a step back to avoid it, and he set his sad eyes at me once again.

“Oh…son, I…you have to understand the disappointment! I held you like you were the most precious thing! I _told_ them you were to be my lightbringer! My little star! But you turned out to be such a…late bloomer…so to speak, and my disappointment blinded me! I never thought they would try and harm the son I told everyone was special to me!”

“Well!” I scathe at him, “mystery’s solved then, isn’t it? You held me like I was the most precious thing, and Michael, Amenadiel and Gabriel decided to torture me for life. You held Azrael like she was the next best thing, and they preyed upon her as well. Well…then I suppose I don’t want your love then, _Dad, _it sounds as if _love hurts_.” I feel the Detective slide her hand into mine, and I squeeze to attain any warmth she’s willing to give.

“Son! Please! Just…let me make it up to you. Come back, I’ll revoke the ban, I’ll even reinstate your position here. Your brothers will be punished of course, just…give me another chance. All I ever did was love you too deeply, you cannot fault me for that!” He…how can he say that? How can he…

“All you did was _love me_? No _Dad!_ What you did, was make me hate myself! What you did, is throw me into a pool of hellfire, where I burnt for a millennia. What you did was throw me into a horde of demons, when I had _no idea _how to fight to save myself. _What you did_ was force me to return to a place, again and again, to be with human’s filth, to do a job no one wants to do, _and call it mercy._ Did you know? Mercy would be _killing me._ That’s what you did. No love, no care, no concern. My life had only hatred. Now you either let me bring the Detective home, or you tell me what my punishment is so we can get it over and done with. I’m done talking.” I breathe heavily after my outburst, and glare at him steadily. I’m not looking forward to any punishment, but anything is better than hearing him spout those nonsense.

“I…go to my chambers…we’ll arrange your return to Earth soon.” I turn away from him, wrap the Detective and the urchin in my arms as securely as I can, and unfurl my wings.

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

That was intense. I am so proud of Lucifer for standing up for himself, but I’m a little worried at his current state of mind. We land on a golden platform, and Lucifer leads us inside. As if the universe could be anymore against us, we hear the three brothers screaming the unfairness of their predicament through a door.

“This is all the Detective’s fault! He wouldn’t have dared to rebel against us if she wasn’t there! The moment I have the chance, I’m going to rip her limb from limb, and make him watch as I do it, then…” Michael never got the chance to finish his plan, for Lucifer stomps through the door in one swift movement and scoops him up by his throat and slams him into a pillar in the _huge_ room.

**Lucifer's POV**

“Finish that sentence, and _I_ will rip you limb for limb. And you know what? Unlike the Detective, _you’ll heal_. So I get to do it again and again and _bloody again_. I’m not the weak little kitten like before brother. I learnt how to fight against hordes and hordes of demons, and I became their _king_. If you think I _talked my way onto my throne_, you are even more naïve then I can ever imagine. _Leave us the hell alone!”_ I basically roar into his face, and Amenadiel and Gabriel, shocked at my sudden bout of violence, just stood there, frozen in spot. So much for loyalty, I scoff in my head.

Father rushes over and tries to talk me down, and at that moment it is like the other two brothers of mine are released from a spell, for they rush forward as well. I swipe my wings over, and both razor sharp tips are immediately at each of their throats. Father’s attempts are only making me angrier though, so I squeeze Michael’s trachea harder. The pathetic choking sound he produces is so satisfying, I begin to understand why they loved hurting me so much. It _is _satisfying.

“Samuel, unhand your brother at once! DO YOU HEAR ME?” As if his anger has any bearing right now, when I’m in the haze of my own anger.

“Lucifer.” Her voice wash over me like chilling water in a hot summer day, and it penetrates my anger easily.

Chloe.


	15. Chapter 15

###  Chapter 15 – Going Home

** Chloe’s POV **

** **

Lucifer lets go of Michael almost instantly, turning to me. I raise my hands towards him, and he walks towards me, and takes my hand in his. He leans forward hesitatingly, as if waiting for me to push him away. I wrap the arm free of a sleeping little girl around his waist, and pull him closer. He instantly melts into my embrace, snuggling into my neck and taking deep breaths. God stares at us with something akin to pain in his eyes, and so far, I still cannot seem to muster up enough sympathy for him.

“Come here, Samuel, I’ll announce the lift in your ban now. You’ll need to do it with me.” I look at Lucifer questioningly, why does God need Lucifer to make an announcement?

“He’ll need to spread my energy throughout heaven. That’ll tell everyone that I’m allowed back in, and I won’t face any opposition the next time I enter. This time, I was brought in together with the three of them, so no one bothered to check.” He explains, but he makes no move to join his Father.

“Go on then.” And he purses his lips again, and pulls himself away from me. I pull him back to me, and ask: “What’s wrong?”

“I…I don’t want his pity.” And it was all I could do to not tear up again. “Lucifer? Don’t think about why he’s offering for now. All I want you to think about, is if you _want_ this. Do you want to have the ban lifted?” He nods. So I push him gently in his Father’s direction, and he walks over, turning his head back to me every few steps, and I smile and encouragingly as I could.

It takes a couple more minutes, and without waiting for God or his other sons’ approval, not that he should, Lucifer wraps me and Trixie in his arms again, and the next thing I know, we’re back in our house.

** Lucifer’s Diary **

** **

_1st entry: 11 April 2020_

_Dear Diary,_

_I never know why humans start with that. As if Diary is a name. Or…it could be…maybe he was a person (or she?) before this whole writing in a book thing came about! Maybe…this thing is named after him (or her)! _

_This is Doctor’s orders actually. Dr. Martin seems to think I should do this, and well…the Detective didn’t let me slack off on it. The conniving little doctor texted the Detective about her assignment and now she’s sitting across me making me write this rubbish! _

_What am I supposed to write here anyway?_

_Well…none of my siblings caused me any trouble since we came back. It’s been a couple months, and Dad came a couple times, but I ignored him. The Detective even kissed me on the cheek that one time I slammed the door in his face! I should do that more often. _

_The offspring is still clingy, even though it’s been months now. But I find it more endearing than sticky nowadays, so I guess I don’t mind. _

_The doctor’s been telling me that the Detective doesn’t expect a perfect soldier in her life, that all I need to do is make sure I try my best to not hurt her. Well…she didn’t exactly say it like that. As if she would ever tell me things just like that. She likes to go round and round and answer my questions with more questions so I only get even more confused then before. But I think that was the gist of it. _

_The Detective didn’t seem to be inclined to punishing me, so that lends credence to Dr. Martin’s theory. That last time, I shouted at the Detective for asking me over and over if I’m alright and I got annoyed, and I apologized immediately after! I didn’t mean to do it! I expected at least a day of cold shoulder, but she just apologized and continued on as usual! I really thought the other shoe would drop sometime…it could still drop now. The Doctor said that she shouldn’t have pushed, and I told her angrily that the Detective can do whatever she wanted with me. She only looked at me sadly, and I left right after. _

_I’ll be extra careful to not lose my temper from now on. _

_2nd entry: 12 April 2020_

_Dear Diary,_

_The Detective is making it her personal mission to force me to write these things! She made me sit down at her dining table, and told me to finish writing or I wouldn’t be allowed the whisky I just poured for myself. She even put the glass right in front of me! <strike>She’s so mean! </strike> I didn’t mean that…she’s the best person…ever! _

_Well, Dad came again yesterday, but the Detective went outside to talk to him instead. I didn’t hear what they said, but the Detective came back inside minutes later, and I let the breath I didn’t know I was holding out. _

_The offspring is sitting on the couch in the living room right now, watching her TV shows. And why can’t I watch TV as well. I don’t want to write this bloody thing! <strike>I just…I don’t!</strike>_

_ _

_The Detective won’t read this right? She said she wouldn’t, that she would ask for my permission if she wants to. But…I don’t think I should say no. She deserves whatever she wants from me. Oh! But Dr. Martin says I can say no if I don’t want to do as she says. But she gets angry when I do something she doesn’t like, and she’s scary when she’s angry. I think I’ll stick to doing what she says for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fanfic, and watching it grow. Like my other finished fic, I will be adding oneshots and closing up the gaps for this fanfic in the future. But I’ve accomplished what I wanted to do with this fanfic, and I think this is a good place to end. More diary entries will be coming up! If you want to read what happens next, subscribe to this series: Forward, Home, and Love. Thank you! 
> 
> Oh! I haven’t forgotten about Marcus Pierce’s problem! That’ll be part two of the series😊 God’s and Lucifer’s relationship on the mend will be in the sequel as well!


End file.
